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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, come on in, come on in, come

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on in, wow, this is it, oh you

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made it, yeah, I made it, oh thanks,

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wow, you look wonderful, thank you, yeah, you

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found the place no problem did you, yeah

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it was totally fine, oh god, is he

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okay, yeah, Jay this is, hi, this is

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whoever I was telling you about, hi, hi

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Jay, nice to meet you, nice to meet

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you, yeah, nice to meet you, silver tongue

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devil he is, this is the girl I

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was telling you about, this is, what girl

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were you telling me about, I was telling

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you about whoever, whoever I was showing you

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the pictures of her, this is the girl

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you didn't believe existed, this is the girl,

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yeah, wow, yeah this is me, he talks

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about me, yes he talked all about you,

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she's got her music, she's got her influencing

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today, her podcast, yeah podcast exactly, what's that,

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my podcast, it's something the kids are doing

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now, it's, they take videos and they put

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them up on the internet and it's, oh

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is that the statue you made of me,

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oh it is, oh my gosh, let's go

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look at it, yeah, come on over here

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let me show you, he told you he

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made something of you, wow, oh my gosh,

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you like it, I love it, it looks

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just like me, it's from a photo he

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sent, he did the pose, yeah, it came

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out wonderful, oh my gosh, it took a

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while but we did this in the arts

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and crafts class that we do, it's beautiful,

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yeah, I need a picture with it, will

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you take my picture, here just press the

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button in the middle, oh, okay,

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thank you, oh my gosh, it's so awesome,

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we can go right next to it, yeah,

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it's uncanny, oh, you have a pool, we

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do, wow, oh my gosh, wow, this is

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so amazing, so this is like an old

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folks home, yeah, we used to use the

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pool more often but ever since the incident,

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yeah, we don't go in the deep end

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anymore, oh, that's really cool, there's the kitchen

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over here, sure, yeah, so

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you guys all cook in here and stuff,

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we do, we take turns throughout the week,

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I'll cook one night and then Jake will

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cook another and we do family recipes, it's

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nice, that's really sweet, oh, there's all kinds

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of different ethnic cultures here too, so we

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get a little Italian, a little Polish food,

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things like that, you know, but it's nice,

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wow, that's amazing, so what was one of

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my favorite movies of yours that you like,

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oh, of them all, yeah, well done, but

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you know, let me think, that's a good

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question, I like that one scene you did

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with Tommy Gunn, Tommy Gunn, oh, yeah, my

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shoplifter scene, that's what it was, shoplifter, oh

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my gosh, that was such a fun scene,

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it was actually such a hot day, we

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couldn't use the air conditioning and I was

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sweating so much, I like it when you

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sweat, yeah, I like the way a cascade

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sounded on your ass, oh, yeah, well, that

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was the thing, it was like so hot

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that when Tommy was slapping my ass, if

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you go back and watch it, you can

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see like the sweat just like going, you

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know, yeah, so you like that scene, I

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did, yeah, I had a really fun time

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and he's a super nice guy, just like

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you, thank you, darling, thank you, you're so

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sweet, you're so sweet, so that's my favorite

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scene, what do you think maybe your favorite

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scene would be, oh, man, my favorite is

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probably like, I did a cis swap and

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it was my first time ever having sex

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with four people all at the same time

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and it was really fun, a what swap?

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a cis swap, what does that mean, so

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it's basically when like I have a stepbrother

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and then my best friend has a stepbrother

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and we swap, oh, yeah, so it's like

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super fun, oh, I see, oh, yeah, what

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do you think of that scene, he sometimes

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he goes on my computer and he looks

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at some of the videos, oh, yeah, he'll

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pretend he doesn't, he'll tell me he doesn't,

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but I know he's in there, I know

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what he's looking at, I can tell him

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because there's lotion all over my keyboard, he

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doesn't clean up his, he doesn't give him

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a courtesy wipe, does he, does he, Jake,

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a courtesy wipe there, that's so funny, but

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anyways, darling, we really enjoy your films, we

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really enjoy watching them, oh, thank you, it's

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such a pleasure to love you, I love

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that you guys watch my movies, I tell

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you, the nurses don't like it so much

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around here, do they, Jake, oh, I'm sure,

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they don't care for that at all, bad

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boys, they get pretty angry sometimes, yeah, I

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don't suppose they probably watch much of that

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at home, I don't think so, no, they

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probably wouldn't be so tired if they did

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though, that's what we tell them, isn't that

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right, Jake, yes, right, that's right, wow, but

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they threaten to take away our internet if

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we don't stop, so, oh, my gosh, I

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know, right, they better not take away our

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internet, they can be kind to me sometimes

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too, I think maybe we give them too

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much grief after watching your movies, I think,

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sometimes Jake gets a little frisky, he likes

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to pinch the nurses on the butt, see

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that, wow, so, so, honey, what do you

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want to set up, what do you want

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to do this interview for, I don't know,

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I mean, where do you think is best,

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where's the best lighting, lighting I guess is

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pretty good, pretty nice in the living room,

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okay, well, yeah, let me just get everything

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set up and we'll do that, okay, I'll

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show you where it is, okay, is there

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anything I can do to help, honey, no,

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I've got it plugged in, I'm just going

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to set this up right here and then

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this will hold my phone while we're recording,

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so everything will be nice and purple for

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us, oh, okay, are you going to do

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it right there, yeah, right here, there we

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go, all right, let me just make sure,

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okay, I think we're good, okay, I'm ready,

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so what do I do, do I just

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look right there, yeah, so just look right

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there and I'm going to introduce us and

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then we'll get into it, are you ready,

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I'm a little nervous, my hands are getting

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sweaty, you got this, you got this, okay,

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hey, cutie pies, it's River Lynn and I

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have a super special sweet treat for you

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today, I'm here with Jack, one of my

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first fans ever, say hi, Jack, hi, Jack,

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today is going to be super special because

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I'm meeting him and interviewing him, but that's

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not all, we are going to do an

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interview where Jack can do whatever he wants

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to me throughout the process, what do you

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mean, anything, whatever you want to do, as

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long as you can focus on the interview

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questions, anything, anything, okay, if you say so,

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are you ready, yeah, let's do it, okay,

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let's go, what's the first thing that caught

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your eye about me, your smile, oh, he

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likes my smile, oh, you have a pretty

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smile, I'm followed by your eyes, yeah, oh,

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that's why he likes my eyes, your ass,

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don't mind him, he has Tourette's, sometimes it

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acts up a bit, oh, okay, how long

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have you been a fan of mine, oh,

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jeez, I started following your career about three

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years ago, oh, from the beginning, I think

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it was probably that shoplifting, a real true

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first fan, that's so awesome, you caught my

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eye early, oh, thank you, which body part

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of mine is your favorite, oh, you know,

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probably your perfect little perky breasts, your ass,

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your ass, your ass, your ass, your ass,

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I think he's a fan of my ass,

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yeah, you have a beautiful ass too, so

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what's the most exciting thing you've done since

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retiring, you, hopefully, obviously, there's not too much

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that goes on now that I'm retired, it's

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just board games with the guys and, you

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know, that sort of thing, and, of course,

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jerking off to your videos, you know, and

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the nurses aren't around to catch me, yeah,

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well, I hope I can bring a little

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fun back into your retirement, you already have

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to, you already have to, okay, what's the

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best advice you've ever received and from who,

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the best advice I've ever received, let's see,

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that's a good question, I would say learn

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early that there's a difference between being alone

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and being a lonely, if you can't keep

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yourself in company, you have nothing to offer

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anyone else in life, yeah, yeah, like being

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alone isn't so bad, but being lonely is

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different, yes, okay, if you can't keep yourself

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in company, you got nothing to offer no

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one, and it took a while to learn

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that, but an old wise man once told

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me that when I was going through my

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first divorce, oh, wow, yeah, well, I appreciate

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you for sharing your wisdom with me, I

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mean, that's really cool, we appreciate you coming

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here, darling, we really do, and this is

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what I live for, really, oh, let's keep

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going, yeah, so, okay, what are your favorite

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date spots, where are you taking a girl

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out on the town, oh, well, you know,

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usually, you're right over there, Jay, yeah,

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well, I'm old fashioned, so I do like

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dinner and a movie, but a girl like

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you, I wouldn't take to a regular movie,

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I'd take her to a, you know, a

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dirty bookstore, maybe, oh, a dirty bookstore, take

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her to a dirty movie, maybe, yeah, I

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think that might be a little more appropriate

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for a girl like you, what do you

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think, is that something that you'd like, maybe,

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yeah, I think that'd be really fun, that's

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like a great date, actually, I know one

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that's got a thing called a glory hole,

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do you know what that is, a glory

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hole, oh, yeah, wow, it's nice, they show

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the films, too, but they get, uh-huh,

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we go there a couple times, you guys

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use the glory hole, I know, it's nice,

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oh, my gosh, well, okay, my next question

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is, what's something you've always wanted to try,

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but have never had the chance to, double

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anal, double, whoa, I mean, you don't really

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get a chance to do something like that,

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not too often, wow, double anal, have you

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done a double anal, I have not done

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a double anal, how about a double badge,

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have you done something like that, no, you

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never, no, I've never even, like, been DP'd

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or anything, really, yeah, wow, I know, we

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still have to make that happen, a young

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star like you, Linda, yeah, plenty of time,

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but don't wait too long, don't wait too

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long, no, no, no, all right, so, the

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next question is, do you have a type

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in women, yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah,

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we like blondes, for sure, like, full bodies,

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yeah, yeah, full bodies, yeah, full-fingered girls,

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yeah, that's a great answer, yeah, I like

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a nice full butt like yours, yeah, okay,

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cool, awesome, do you have any questions for

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me, do I have any questions for you,

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I'm sure I have a lot of questions

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for you, what's the oldest man you ever

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had sex with, oh, man, he was probably,

250
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:47,260
like, 50, oh, yeah, that's young, that's young,

251
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:51,460
that's nothing, no, wow, yeah, no, you're a

252
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:54,840
big boy, oh, I'm sorry, it's like an

253
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,120
older man, you ought to give one of

254
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,840
us a try, yeah, I do like older

255
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,260
men, it's just, you know, waiting for the

256
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:06,960
right one, or two, you never know, or

257
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,420
three, wow, my viewers are going to love

258
00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:14,920
this, I'm sure they will, you know what,

259
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,400
I'm going to love this, oh, God, he

260
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,460
pulled it out, oh, yeah, it's out of

261
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:23,100
the cage, there you go, go ahead, so,

262
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:25,720
okay, yeah, let's continue with the interview, let's

263
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,500
do this interview, how has your taste in

264
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:30,120
women changed since you were younger, oh, well,

265
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,700
that's an easy one, when I was younger,

266
00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:33,520
I liked the older girls, now that I'm

267
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,200
older, I like the younger girls, oh, okay,

268
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,840
that's one of the problems, as I got

269
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,320
older, I realized, well, here's a problem, getting

270
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,760
older, you realize there's no such thing as

271
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,200
milfs anymore, there's just women half your age

272
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,340
or kids, yeah, you know, you lose out

273
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,460
on the whole milfs thing, that makes sense,

274
00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:50,840
well, ladies out there, if you're interested, yeah,

275
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:55,580
that's the truth of it, yeah, so, okay,

276
00:15:55,860 --> 00:15:57,900
what was porn like when you were younger,

277
00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:02,120
oh, well, you know, that was different, too,

278
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,100
it was more or less, like in the

279
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:06,780
old Roman days, they would write about it

280
00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:08,800
so much, they wouldn't really draw things out,

281
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,600
oh, interesting, no, they can't, not quite that

282
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,540
old, but it was, when the porn started,

283
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,260
when I started, it was the reel-to

284
00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:17,800
-reels, seriously, it was reel-to-reels, so,

285
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,640
any time you wanted to jerk off, it

286
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,840
was really difficult, because the projector was so

287
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,220
loud, you know, it always, in the background,

288
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,500
okay, yeah, so, it was not so easy

289
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,640
to jerk, and it was hard, it was

290
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,000
a lot of work to set this machine

291
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,260
up, that's so cool, and I remember when

292
00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:33,320
we got the VCR, the VCR, that was

293
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,960
the first, oh, my gosh, that was the

294
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,060
cutting-edge technology, wow, laser disc, wow, a

295
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:42,620
lost invention, oh, my goodness, beta, remember beta,

296
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,800
porn's on beta, yeah, I watched all the

297
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,620
8mms, yeah, that was more my thing, wow,

298
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,680
I have no idea what this stuff is,

299
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,100
you guys, yeah, well, you know, the adult

300
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,740
industry's always been on the leading side of

301
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:57,360
technology, you know, oh, I'm sure, yeah, we

302
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,800
always get it first, kind of like the

303
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,860
virtual stuff you got, the virtual reality, is

304
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:02,480
that what they call it?

305
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,760
Yeah, I just did a VR scene recently,

306
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:05,819
VR, is that what they call it?

307
00:17:05,819 --> 00:17:09,339
Yeah, VR, it's really fun, it's very immersive,

308
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,079
back in my day, we called it VD,

309
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,880
no, that was an aerial disease, that was

310
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,540
something different, that was not, oh, no, that

311
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,940
was a disease, oh, oh, okay, okay, she's

312
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:22,540
talking about something totally different, or, Ho Chi

313
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:27,460
Minh, my ass, oh, my goodness, oh, but,

314
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,120
yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

315
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:28,220
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

316
00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:28,320
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

317
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:28,420
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

318
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:29,820
it's changed quite a bit over the years,

319
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:33,840
I prefer, I like, I like the internet

320
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,380
now, I jerk off to the internet, I

321
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,120
got my own, yeah, it makes things easier,

322
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,900
I got a little mouse I can move

323
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,080
around, I can click on whatever I like,

324
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,900
whatever weird, that was the other thing too,

325
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:43,760
you used to have to go to a

326
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,520
dirty bookstore, you know, right, yeah, I miss

327
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,560
that a little bit, it was a little

328
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,120
sleazy, you got to, smell it, I never

329
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:54,260
smelled that, ah, yeah, I did, it was

330
00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:57,380
like dried up jizz, you know, oh, gosh,

331
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,500
yeah, it's on That sounds horrible.

332
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:00,840
Sticky floors!

333
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:01,940
Sticky floors!

334
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:02,220
Oh man!

335
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:04,200
Remember Jizz Moppers?

336
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:04,940
That was a thing.

337
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:05,460
What?

338
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:06,660
I got paid for it.

339
00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:09,740
Wow, I feel like I'm learning so much

340
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:10,180
you guys.

341
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:11,880
You go into the booth and you jerk

342
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,600
off and you leave a mess and then

343
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,040
someone will come on behind you with a

344
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,020
mop and clean your mess up after you.

345
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:17,400
Oh my goodness!

346
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,480
And you kind of like, as you walk

347
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,000
past the guy in the hallway, he always

348
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,160
kind of like, you know, he judged you

349
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,540
because you're jerking off in a dirty bookstore.

350
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:26,200
So he judged him because he cleans up

351
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:26,680
your jizz.

352
00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:28,340
What the fuck kind of job was that?

353
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,280
Tip your mobster.

354
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,700
Wow, can you believe this you guys?

355
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:33,900
Jizz Moppers.

356
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,000
You should make a movie.

357
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:37,920
You should, yeah.

358
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,020
Note to the fans, we're going to make

359
00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,960
a movie called Jizz Moppers.

360
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,640
And I'm going to be the mop.

361
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,720
Oh, I like that.

362
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,340
Clean up all the jizz.

363
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,520
Look at you.

364
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:50,800
So, okay.

365
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,540
Tell me about your school life.

366
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,160
Were you popular?

367
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,860
Uh, well, I mean, I was a popular

368
00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:00,200
pain in the ass, I guess.

369
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,020
Yeah, I was relatively popular.

370
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,780
I wasn't into the sports or anything.

371
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,740
Not a jock or anything like that.

372
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,640
But I did pretty good with the ladies.

373
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,520
The ladies seemed to like me quite a

374
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:13,720
bit.

375
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:16,960
Oh, yeah.

376
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:22,460
Yeah, I was not a very good student.

377
00:19:23,060 --> 00:19:24,580
Didn't get the best grades.

378
00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:27,180
Did you ever do any sports or like

379
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,240
really fun clubs?

380
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,040
Not too much sports.

381
00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:32,800
I played a little soccer and that sort

382
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,280
of thing.

383
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,780
But, well, soccer's for girls.

384
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,420
Yeah, that's what I realized not too long

385
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:38,740
into.

386
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:40,020
But you know what I really enjoyed?

387
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,800
I liked the pool.

388
00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:43,760
Yeah.

389
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:47,440
How about you?

390
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,060
Were you a popular girl in school, honey?

391
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,120
I bet you were.

392
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,540
I bet you all the boys liked you,

393
00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:52,840
huh?

394
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:55,100
Specifically for doing this stuff.

395
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:56,760
Oh, my God.

396
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,340
Really, huh?

397
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,680
Oh, my God.

398
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,560
Oh, let's see.

399
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:11,240
Oh, my gosh.

400
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,520
Did you have a lot of boyfriends in

401
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:13,140
school, sweetheart?

402
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,140
Mm-hmm.

403
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:16,280
I bet you did, huh?

404
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:16,820
Mm-hmm.

405
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,140
You sucked their dicks too, I guess.

406
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:20,920
Mm-hmm.

407
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:23,460
Oh, that's good.

408
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,600
Oh, my God.

409
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:26,240
Oh.

410
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:34,840
Do you have any fond memories or anything

411
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,340
like that you want to share with the

412
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:36,740
fans?

413
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,900
Oh, fond memories, sure, yeah.

414
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:42,160
Mm-hmm.

415
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,180
Oh, you're breaking out your little hands here

416
00:20:45,180 --> 00:20:46,100
now already, are you?

417
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,140
Oh, that's so funny.

418
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,200
Don't mind him.

419
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,980
He's just fascinated with these little hands.

420
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:53,640
Mm-hmm.

421
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:54,540
It's weird.

422
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,680
I was a court stenographer.

423
00:20:58,900 --> 00:20:59,920
I did learn shorthand.

424
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:02,720
Yeah, well, that makes sense now, doesn't it?

425
00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:04,020
Yeah.

426
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:04,760
Oh.

427
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,600
I've been using that joke for years.

428
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,320
Oh.

429
00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:11,080
So, tell me about some hobbies you have

430
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:11,600
right now.

431
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,720
Well, I like to golf a bit.

432
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:15,800
Mm-hmm.

433
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,000
My shoulder doesn't really like it, but aside

434
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,280
from that, I like that quite a bit.

435
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:21,320
Mm-hmm.

436
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:22,900
Oh.

437
00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:26,040
We like playing checkers around here, too.

438
00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:27,580
Sometimes a game of chess.

439
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,220
Mm-hmm.

440
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:32,000
Dick's more of a chess player, and Jake

441
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,440
over here likes his checkers.

442
00:21:33,580 --> 00:21:34,620
Mm-hmm.

443
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:35,140
Oh.

444
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:38,640
You know, personally, I like to play a

445
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,340
little tonsil hockey right now.

446
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,320
That's what I like to do.

447
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:43,160
There we are.

448
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,860
Oh, that'll be my favorite sport, I think.

449
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:48,200
Oh.

450
00:21:49,780 --> 00:21:50,280
Oh.

451
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,380
You know, I never learned how to play

452
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:54,640
chess or checkers.

453
00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:56,760
Well, I'll teach you.

454
00:21:57,460 --> 00:21:58,360
I'm sure you will.

455
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,560
You're probably going to sound a little too

456
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,400
busy doing this sort of thing.

457
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:06,100
Oh.

458
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:07,060
Mm-hmm.

459
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:10,020
Oh, slow.

460
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,140
Oh, Jesus.

461
00:22:12,620 --> 00:22:12,860
Oh.

462
00:22:13,460 --> 00:22:14,620
Oh, wow.

463
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:16,460
Yeah.

464
00:22:18,580 --> 00:22:19,060
Oh.

465
00:22:19,580 --> 00:22:20,920
Oh, wow.

466
00:22:21,580 --> 00:22:22,760
Mm-hmm.

467
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:25,440
Oh.

468
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,080
Mm-hmm.

469
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,600
Mm-hmm.

470
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,740
So if you could go back to any

471
00:22:36,740 --> 00:22:39,400
decade, which one would it be, and why?

472
00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:42,700
Oh, the 70s, probably, for sure.

473
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,000
The 70s, they were a happy time.

474
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,600
The 60s were good, too.

475
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,140
The 60s were great, you know.

476
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,700
The 80s, where it all went bad, you

477
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:53,820
know.

478
00:22:55,060 --> 00:22:56,800
Before the 80s, all you had to worry

479
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,340
about was maybe you'd catch a little chlamydia

480
00:22:59,340 --> 00:22:59,900
or gonorrhea.

481
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,500
Maybe you'd just go and get a shot

482
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:02,040
in the ass.

483
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,800
Then the 80s came along, honey, and everything

484
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,300
changed.

485
00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:08,280
All of a sudden, you couldn't have sex

486
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,700
anymore without using a prophylactic.

487
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:11,560
You know what that is?

488
00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:15,340
They call it a condom now, or a

489
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:15,540
rubber.

490
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:17,140
Yeah, we call them rubbers.

491
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,000
Rubbers, yeah.

492
00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:19,380
Jimmy Hag.

493
00:23:19,580 --> 00:23:20,340
Jimmy Hag.

494
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,020
That's a term from the 80s.

495
00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:24,860
Coney Island White Fish.

496
00:23:29,060 --> 00:23:32,600
But after that, it was never the same

497
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,480
anymore, you know.

498
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:37,180
You had to worry about catching something awful.

499
00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:48,000
Now nobody seems to care, everyone just records.

500
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,680
What's new at 25?

501
00:23:55,820 --> 00:23:56,400
You.

502
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,680
Honestly, if I could go back in time,

503
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:11,980
I would have invested in a little blue

504
00:24:11,980 --> 00:24:16,160
pill that men used to get their dicks

505
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:16,360
on.

506
00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:19,160
Well, that started out as a heart medication.

507
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,740
Then everything changed now.

508
00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:24,480
It went from a 75 cent pill to

509
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,740
a 40 dollar pill now.

510
00:24:27,140 --> 00:24:28,060
Remember that, Jake?

511
00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:28,660
Oh, yeah.

512
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:34,320
We used to take our heart medication and

513
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:38,000
unbeknownst to anyone else, you'd get a nice

514
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,680
strong heart like this.

515
00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:45,240
That's when they realized they were in the

516
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:45,920
wrong business.

517
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,600
Yeah, if I had gone back in time

518
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,980
and could have invested in that company, I'd

519
00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:51,900
be a rich man.

520
00:24:58,820 --> 00:25:00,620
You're really talented at this, do you know

521
00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:00,740
that?

522
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:06,880
Wow, I haven't had a full set of

523
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,100
teeth in a long time.

524
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,960
Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking on

525
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:13,800
gummies or anything.

526
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:14,700
I'll take them all.

527
00:25:16,180 --> 00:25:18,360
Oh, yeah, that's different.

528
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,540
You know what a gummy is, honey?

529
00:25:22,740 --> 00:25:25,520
That's when the older ladies around the nursing

530
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,260
home take their dentures out when they give

531
00:25:27,260 --> 00:25:27,660
you a head.

532
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:33,900
It actually doesn't feel too bad.

533
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:37,760
How did you meet your roommate?

534
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,260
Oh, he was here when I got here.

535
00:25:42,060 --> 00:25:44,180
He checked in one day, hasn't checked out

536
00:25:44,180 --> 00:25:44,520
yet.

537
00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:48,000
He checked himself in, my kids just dropped

538
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:48,740
me off here.

539
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,820
They told me we were going to the

540
00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:51,200
park.

541
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,320
They never came back.

542
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,200
They don't visit, they don't come back.

543
00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,720
Oh, God.

544
00:26:00,780 --> 00:26:03,220
But now I just sit here and play

545
00:26:03,220 --> 00:26:06,360
checkers with these fellas and live vicariously through

546
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,180
your little podcast.

547
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:09,840
How about you, sweetheart?

548
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,460
Oh, yeah.

549
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,540
I'll tell you what, let me turn around

550
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:16,280
for you.

551
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:24,290
You can do it, sweetheart.

552
00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:24,990
Oh, okay.

553
00:26:26,290 --> 00:26:28,050
One, two, three.

554
00:26:28,710 --> 00:26:29,190
There we go.

555
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,200
Holy cow.

556
00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:40,440
Whoa.

557
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:42,340
Hold on.

558
00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:42,700
You don't like that?

559
00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:43,160
Hold on.

560
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,280
Hold on, hold on.

561
00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:46,840
The big one's coming, Jake, huh?

562
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:48,580
This is why you're such a huge fan

563
00:26:48,580 --> 00:26:49,040
of me.

564
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,940
Okay, now there's something else going on.

565
00:26:53,300 --> 00:26:54,180
It's flawless.

566
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:56,960
It's perfect.

567
00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:58,420
Thank you.

568
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,180
Thank you.

569
00:27:07,180 --> 00:27:16,140
I'm going to make myself comfortable for a

570
00:27:16,140 --> 00:27:16,280
minute.

571
00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:20,620
Thank you.

572
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,320
All right, let's keep going with this interview.

573
00:27:24,780 --> 00:27:26,520
This super amazing interview.

574
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:26,800
Thank you.

575
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:30,140
Okay.

576
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,340
What is your favorite genre of porn and

577
00:27:36,340 --> 00:27:36,880
why?

578
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:40,680
Okay.

579
00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:45,620
I mean, me personally, it's a lot of

580
00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:46,020
stuff.

581
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,780
It has to do with doggie.

582
00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:50,880
I love watching girls get fucked in the

583
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,600
ass a whole lot.

584
00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:53,840
I'm a huge anal queen.

585
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,940
What about you, Jay?

586
00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:57,800
Why don't you answer a question, too?

587
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,180
The camera's right there.

588
00:28:00,460 --> 00:28:02,320
Tell everyone.

589
00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:04,880
I like girls with big butts.

590
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:05,800
Oh, like me.

591
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,520
I like the big butts, I really do.

592
00:28:07,740 --> 00:28:08,740
I cannot lie.

593
00:28:08,780 --> 00:28:09,720
I cannot lie.

594
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,380
And I think it's very sexy when a

595
00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:17,560
cute girl, like her, takes a big old

596
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,860
cock in her ass.

597
00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:23,020
You hear that, guys?

598
00:28:23,060 --> 00:28:24,480
You're going to be a huge fan of

599
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:25,260
me one day.

600
00:28:25,940 --> 00:28:26,720
No way.

601
00:28:27,020 --> 00:28:27,340
Yeah.

602
00:28:28,780 --> 00:28:29,300
Yeah.

603
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,560
She's going to take it in the ass.

604
00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:41,140
So, who was your celebrity crush and why?

605
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,780
Oh, I like Bea Arthur.

606
00:28:44,700 --> 00:28:46,660
Bea Arthur, I don't know who that is.

607
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,420
Oh, the great TV show.

608
00:28:48,740 --> 00:28:50,060
She's in a few shows.

609
00:28:50,180 --> 00:28:51,300
Yeah, she's in a few shows.

610
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,640
If I could have sex with anyone, it

611
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:54,320
would be Bea Arthur.

612
00:28:54,460 --> 00:28:55,140
Oh, yeah.

613
00:28:55,140 --> 00:28:56,620
What's that redhead's name?

614
00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:57,420
I don't know.

615
00:28:57,580 --> 00:28:58,420
Blanche there?

616
00:28:58,860 --> 00:28:59,160
No, no.

617
00:28:59,160 --> 00:28:59,440
Lucy.

618
00:28:59,940 --> 00:29:00,800
Lucy, yeah.

619
00:29:01,060 --> 00:29:01,500
Oh.

620
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:02,060
Yeah.

621
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:03,720
Oh, yeah, back in the day, Lucy.

622
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:04,440
Oh, yeah.

623
00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:05,420
Fiery funny.

624
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:05,880
Yeah.

625
00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:07,340
Fiery little redhead, yes.

626
00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:09,060
Lucy, you're in a lot of trouble.

627
00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:11,400
Lucy, I'm home.

628
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:11,920
Oh.

629
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:12,740
You remember that?

630
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:13,760
Oh, no, you wouldn't remember.

631
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:14,860
I don't know.

632
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,240
That was back when TV was in black

633
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:17,660
and white.

634
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:18,980
Oh, my God.

635
00:29:19,060 --> 00:29:19,760
That was a thing.

636
00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:21,360
That was so long ago.

637
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:23,880
More than half my life, I was only

638
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,040
watching it in black and white.

639
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:25,600
What?

640
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,580
No way.

641
00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:28,100
It wasn't that long ago, Lucy.

642
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:29,360
Oh, my gosh.

643
00:29:29,820 --> 00:29:30,080
Oh, my gosh.

644
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:30,600
Yeah.

645
00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:31,720
Do you want to?

646
00:29:31,860 --> 00:29:32,440
Oh, yeah.

647
00:29:32,460 --> 00:29:34,500
You just move like that, and I move

648
00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:35,120
like this.

649
00:29:35,540 --> 00:29:37,180
And the idea is to.

650
00:29:37,180 --> 00:29:37,920
You're going to teach me to play?

651
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,440
He's going to teach me to play, guys.

652
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,580
The idea is to capture as many of

653
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:44,320
the opponents and work your way all the

654
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,500
way to the opposite side.

655
00:29:45,620 --> 00:29:46,140
Go there.

656
00:29:46,460 --> 00:29:47,020
And there you go.

657
00:29:47,420 --> 00:29:47,700
OK.

658
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,240
What's one thing you're curious to try and

659
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:52,860
bat at Jake?

660
00:29:54,380 --> 00:29:55,840
Waking up every morning.

661
00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:57,820
Waking up every morning.

662
00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:58,620
I don't.